Rain drops keep falling on my head!

These are the kind of days that I love to sit back, take a big deep breath, a sigh of relief, and then go outside and run. Run as fast as I possibly can. I'll admit, I'm not coordinated. Or fast for that matter.

Who I am kidding. I am probably the most uncoordinated, can't kick a ball hard enough to save her life, shoot at the other teams basket, kind of individual. I can't help it. It's just how I am wired. BUT I love to run. Especially when the air smells like rain, tingling my skin with tiny cool raindrops. Ipod on. And the world has faded into the background. It's just me.

Today was a great day. It was the first day since I got home from Africa that I could actually breath. It's been well over a month since I've gotten back but it feels like yesterday, and a year ago all at the same time. Life has been so fast paced that I haven't had time to just sit down and gather my thoughts together. Stories have been endless, I've told them over and over again. One of my best friends, could attest to that, receiving random messages at four in the morning telling him about people that are SO real to me. People I ache for. And little girls that I loved holding in my arms. He knows first hand the stories of the people that kept me up at night.  I want so badly for others to see that the stories I tell are not just filled with impassioned words, these people are REAL.  He wrote a letter containing some of the best advice I could of had at the moment...

Over the course of the next couple weeks, you will be able to see first-hand the fruits of your labor, and the girls you have aided will be right there with you for you to hug and laugh with and incessantly smile at. Enjoy every moment. Your trip will give you an even deep insight into the world of Africa, and one of the most defining points of your life may well come during your stay. It will be a time to dwell on the beauty of the moment while, at the same time, deciding where you want to see yourself in the future. I have full faith in you. 

It was exactly what I needed, when I needed it. Odd how that happens? As I was reading I pictured my sweet girls. Only to remember to dwell on the beauty of that moment. AND LAUGH. That's not hard for me. :) I wish he could have been there to see those words in affect. He had no idea that in that moment I would think of that advice, look into the eyes of my sweet Ruth and squeeze her as hard as I could. Knowing that the moment I had been given was a little gift. Perfect. Those tiny moments that come few and far between.

So if you ever read this, thank you.

You Hold Me Now

Today has been somewhat challenging to say the least. That thought of "school is a blessing" became slightly harder to digest and keep in mind. Who am I kidding, I can't be an optimist ALL the time. (But it is a blessing hehe) God's faithfulness never ceases to amaze me. Even despite my constant worrying and inevitable stress, he gently whispers to me sweet assurances of His unfailing love.

I enjoy entertaining myself in thinking that I have it all together. And then in the middle of that thought my world gets turned upside down. Rightfully so. Life is full of decisions, ones that will grow you, guide you, and mold certain aspects of your future. I am eighteen, and a senior in high school. My life is dominated by decisions. Or so it feels like. I let those decisions dictate who I will become. Letting all of that pressure overcome my emotions. I need an awakening.

Humbled. Those decisions are important, yes. But not life. And they were never intended to be my life. As most teenagers do, I tend to have tunnel vision. Seeing only what is in the "now." Pulling back from that has been a huge blessing. Because as soon as I do, I see him. 

His life is precious. 

More valuable than words. 

Full of love. And joy. 

You give him hope. 

And Father you hold him now. 

You guide his path. 

But do not guarantee tomorrow.

You are with him in his tears. 

He is the heart of the Father. 

An orphan. 

And then...I remember why I'm alive. For him. To serve the orphan and the widow. Then suddenly all of those decisions fall into place. Worry and anxiety creep away leaving me only with desperation and passion. I can't do this by myself. I don't know why I even try. But because of His faithfulness, Messiah gently reminds me, in the middle of all those decisions that I am not in control. Never have been. And never will be. All I can do is close my eyes, hold my breath, and jump. While in the process think of the orphan, with no mom or dad to tuck him in at night, to wipe away his tears, and pray with him before he falls asleep at night. 

"True religion is caring for the orphans and widows in their distress" James 1:27

Prayer

I come to you asking for prayers. For someone I have never met but feel like I have known for ages. Her name is Katie. She lives in Jinja (which is just outside of Kampala) with her fourteen adopted girls. Katie is somewhat of a superstar. A missionary superstar that is, something about her draws everyone in. She fascinates many and is a beautiful face and example of love in action. Before I left for Uganda a friend of mine told me I had to check out her blog. I did and her words automatically tuned me in gripping my emotions. But it was more than just my attention she captured. Her story is impeccable. And one that I would selfishly love for myself. God has granted her with the opportunity to love and live with the people of Jinja for His divine purposes. She is a Mom of fourteen, and inspiration to me. I ask that you pray for her family has they have lost one of her sweet little girls. I can not imagine the pain.  This is her blog  kissesfromkatie, if you would like to read the whole story.  Recently she has really been on my heart and mind. As Douglas put it so wonderfully "With great suffering comes great joy." I pray that for her and her family. Pray for healing, guidance, and strength. And for the love of our Father to pour down on her and her sweet girls.